Posts Tagged ‘writing a novel’
writing a novel – professional editing
‘a writers’ retreat’
Jane Tims, November 29, 2012
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Remember my first novel? – ‘Saving the Landing Church’ aka ‘Open to the Skies’. The book is the story of how a woman tries to preserve an abandoned church with unexpected consequences for herself and for the community. The setting of the novel is a writers’ retreat in rural New Brunswick.
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I began the book three years ago and worked on it, on and off, for a year. Since then, I have been working on two more novels in the series: ‘Crossing at a Walk’ and ‘Shore to Shore’.
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In the last year, I sent ‘Open to the Skies’ to three publishers. Eventually I heard back from each one: ‘interesting but does not meet our publishing needs’. Disappointing but expected. However I intend to accomplish my goal of getting my novel published!
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I decided to take another step and ask a professional editor to look at my novel and offer comments. I hired Lee Thompson of ‘Lee Thompson Editing +’ ( http://leethompsonediting.com/ ) to read my book and comment. I knew Lee from his role as Executive Director with the New Brunswick Writers’ Federation and took him up on one of the editing specials he occasionally offers. Lee read my novel and provided me with chapter-by-chapter notes about dialogue, plot pace and voice. He helped me most by pointing out areas where he felt characters were not contributing enough to the story.
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The following is my commentary on Lee’s editing services:
One of the hardest aspects of writing is overcoming subjectivity. Hiring Lee to read and assess my novel helped to overcome this problem since Lee is not only a skilled editor, but is able to provide his comments in a way that encourages a writer’s objectivity. Lee provided a chapter-by-chapter analysis of my novel, including his assessment of what worked, what didn’t and suggestions for improvements. First, I knew by his synopsis that he had read the novel thoroughly and understood what I was trying to achieve. His comments on dialogue, plot pace and voice were specific and not only improved this book but helped me to look at my writing in a new way. Most important, his insightful thoughts on gaps in the story led me to discover story areas and directions that had previously eluded me but waited just below the surface to be discovered. Thanks to Lee I am now in the last stages of a final draft and almost ready to submit the novel to some of the publishers he suggested. I have realized that obtaining the services of a professional editor is one of the most important steps a writer can take – Lee’s confidence and skill made this part of the process painless and productive!
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I am realising that writing a novel is a story of its own, consisting of many parts, each with its own consequences:
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- First ideas about story and plot – a place to begin
- First Draft – the novel takes shape
- Second Draft – revision
- Third Draft and so on – more revision
- Beta Reader – someone to cast a reader’s eye on the draft and provide feedback
- Professional Editor – someone to cast an editor’s eye on the draft and provide feedback
- Publisher – someone to read and reject the novel
- Publisher – someone to read and accept the novel for publication
- Readers – someone to read the words and discover the story
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Copyright 2015 Jane Tims
writing a novel – draft by draft
Title: Unknown
Working Title: ‘Crossing at a Walk’
Setting: a writers’ retreat – the renovated Landing Church, the hall and the rectory – now used as a Learning Center, a Sleeping Hall and a home/base of operations
Characters: main character Sadie, a writer and manager of a weekend writers’ retreat; her husband Tom, a retired welder; people from the community; writers participating in the first weekend of the writers’ retreat
Plot: Some of the participants in the writer’s retreat become interested in the carving of a woman’s name in a local covered bridge
Story: Sadie works to make the first writers’ retreat go smoothly, but forgets to keep her own life on track
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Wheaton Bridge (Tantramar River #2) in Westmorland County, New Brunswick. This is the bridge where I found the PHOEBE carving in 1992. We re-visited the bridge in early June and the carving no longer exists, probably lost to necessary bridge maintenance.
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As I complete work on the fifth draft of my novel ‘Crossing at a Walk’, I am planning how to further improve the book. I am now at about 82,000 words. I have defined the story and the plot. Now I have to complete the editing phase.
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This blog has proven to be a valuable tool in writing. It helps me to check my progress against my first book, and to make sure I don’t forget steps in the editing process. To help with this process, I have made the table below to chart my progress through the various drafts.
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| Number of words | Tools used | Objectives | |
| Draft #1 | 32,000 |
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| Draft #2 | 54,000 |
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| Draft #3 | 65,000 |
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| Draft #4 | 77,000 |
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| Draft #5 | 83,000 |
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| Draft #6 |
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| Draft #7 |
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During Draft #5, I began reading my book to my husband and to the members of my two writing groups. Reading aloud is the first test of my audience and helps me find many errors. In particular, I am able to hear words I have repeated in near proximity to one another.
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Also during Draft #5, I have used a tool I found useful in the writing of my first book. This is SmartEdit for Word (http://www.smart-edit.com/) a ‘first-pass-editing tool’ designed to help identify errors and problems with writing. It is Word compatible and works directly with my Word documents. It identifies clichés, adverbs, repeated words and phrases, punctuation errors and so on. Although it doesn’t take the place of a human editor, it shows the writer possible areas for improvement. SmartEdit for Word can be used free for 10 days or can be purchased for a reasonable price. I have found it to be trouble-free and worth the cost.
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As I begin Draft #6, my objectives are to make elements in the book consistent. This includes listening for the way characters speak, making certain settings are described completely, and ensuring the story arcs are coherent. I also have to think a little about the third book in the series, so I know what characters I will need and know if I have to make small plot adjustments.
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Have you ever used editing software to help with your writing?
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Copyright 2015 Jane Tims
Carving of the name Phoebe on a beam of the Tantramar #2 Covered Bridge near Sackville, New Brunswick
nest of the Eastern Phoebe
This time of year, I hear a wheezy call in our maple tree. The Eastern Phoebe has arrived, to build a nest under the eaves of our shed.
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The Phoebe makes an appearance in the book I am writing – ‘Crossing at a Walk’. I have just reached Draft #5 of the writing, a time when I edit for adverbs, sentence length, repeated phrases and so on. I also work to clarify the plot and the story, making certain my characters are true to their missions in the book. At this stage, the editing is a bit of a blur.
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Here is an excerpt from the book. The Eastern Phoebe has come to check out the Whisper Wind Writers’ Retreat (the setting for my story). Tom will encounter three Phoebe’s in the book: the shrill ‘fee-bee’ song of the Chickadee in spring, the Eastern Phoebe with its nasal ‘phee-bee’, and the name ‘Phoebe’ carved in the covered bridge …
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I am in our garage, cutting leaves from a sheet of copper for a new wind sculpture. I glimpse a quick flutter outside the window and hear knocking in the eaves.
I put the tin snips down on the workbench and step outside to investigate. At one corner of the garage, up under the edges of the roof, is the nest of a bird, constructed within the last few days.
As I lean to get a better look, the mighty construction worker flies out and swoops up to the height of one of our birch trees. It tilts its black head and says, in two raspy, out-of-tune syllables, ‘phee-bee’. The sound is nasal and cheerless, quite different from the bright ‘fee-bee’ of the chickadee in spring.
An Eastern Phoebe! A charming grey bird with a puffed black hairdo and a dirty white throat. The phoebe sits in the tree and wags his tail. He says, again, ‘phee-bee.’
Every morning in June he wakes me.
‘What on earth is that annoying bird song?’ says sleepy Sadie.
‘You could hardly call it a song,’ I answer.
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For more about the three Phoebes, see my post for May 4, 2015 ‘spring orchestra – fee-bee’.
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the nest of the Eastern Phoebe – notice this Phoebe has found a few strands of tinsel from our Christmas tree to decorate his home!
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Copyright 2015 Jane Tims
writing a novel – being the reader
At some point during the writing of a novel, the writer must become reader.
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a ‘reader’ in my library – one of a very old set of bookends I call the ‘Two Muses’
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The writer reads their work, over and over and over. Eventually, the sentences and paragraphs, the story itself, become so familiar, the writer can’t ‘see’ them properly any more.
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The writer has two disadvantages.
First is familiarity. The writer knows every detail of the story, even details not written down. The writer’s mind fills in the gaps and the poor reader is, perhaps, left wondering. But the reader has experience as well. The writer has to know how much detail to include and how much to leave to the imagination. Sometimes the details the reader fills in make the better story. Have you ever read a book, having a perfect idea of what the protagonist looks like, only to be told, mid-way through the story, he has a twitch in one eye?
Second is love. Writers tend to become enamoured of their characters, their stories and their own writing. A description or sub-plot or character may take root and grow within the novel, even though it has little to do with the larger story. Once written, it is difficult to rip those paragraphs from the whole. Keeping track of word number will help, since it is an objective measure of progress towards a goal. In my novel ‘Crossing at a Walk’ I often write bits that I later remove. Too allay the fear that they will be lost forever, I have a file for a bone-yard – I can always return to this pile in future. I rarely do. ‘Murder your darlings‘ (Arthur Quiller-Couch, 1914).
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This young lady never reads … she just sits among the potted plants and dreams.
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The writer must also consider the questions the reader is asking as he or she reads the book. If the book hints at a problem or something that needs resolution, the reader will watch for an answer. For example, if a character mentions she has heard a cousin is coming to visit, the reader will wait for the cousin to arrive. If the cousin never shows up, the result may be a disgruntled reader.
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I read my book, cover to cover, at every draft. I also think it’s important to read it aloud at some point, once the story is complete. Reading aloud to another person will give the writer some feedback. The act of hearing the word spoken will also suggest problems with rhythm, word choice or continuity. I read aloud to my husband and to the members of the two writing groups where I am a member.
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In the end, the writer cannot be an objective reader. Every writer must find a test reader, someone who will provide honest feedback on characters, plot and story, as well as editorial advice.
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I use my Kobo to read drafts of my book …
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Copyright 2015 Jane Tims
writing a novel – being consistent
As I work on the Forth Draft of my novel ‘Crossing at a Walk’, I need to consult reference material. I check the correct spelling and meaning of words, odd bits like ‘is Tim Hortons coffee spelled with an apostrophe?’ (no, it’s Tim Hortons coffee), and technical information such as the correct name for the shape of the windows of the Landing Church (‘Gothic with extended legs!’).
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The windows in the Landing Church are referred to as ‘Gothic with extended legs’. This is an old church in Upper Canada Village in Ontario.
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I also keep a project-specific ‘guidance document’ (a ‘concordance’ or ‘style guide’) to make certain I am consistent about how I deal with people, objects and conversations within the text.
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One of my main characters is Oliver, the former minister of the Landing Church. My ‘guidance document’ reminds me that Oliver always says ‘graveyard’ rather than ‘cemetery’.
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A ‘guidance document’ is a useful tool to prepare from the beginning of writing a longer piece of fiction. It provides a set of rules to follow, to help me remember how I have previously dealt with many aspects of the book. In dialogue, it tells me if a particular character uses the word ‘dinner’ or ‘supper’. It reminds me that I put all business names in italics. It tells me to use ‘towards’ instead of ‘toward’ (the words are interchangeable and I often can’t remember which of the two I have typically used). It means I don’t have to remember the title of Sadie’s university thesis: ‘Consideration of the Contribution of Writers to the Field of Cinematography’. It also tells me details about the characters: Pat has a brother; Minnie has bright red hair; Reid’s best seller was titled ‘No Small Truck’.
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Some of the items I will only ever use once. Often I have to look up information again and again, so I keep my ‘guidance document’ file open whenever I am working on the novel.
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Matt Cromwell is a theatre student participating in the first writing weekend at Sadie’s writing retreat. The ‘guidance document’ reminds me Matt’s eyes are blue, he is 24 and he is a star-gazer in his spare time.
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You may wonder why I would forget these things. Some items ensure consistency between my two books. In dealing with 70,000 words and 33 characters, I don’t need to keep everything in my head if I keep my ‘guidance document’ up to date.
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Copyright 2015 Jane Tims
writing a novel – words, day by day
I have reached Draft Four of my novel ‘Crossing at a Walk’ and the story is all told. I want to see how I reached my current word count of 78,598 words, so I have created some graphs showing my progress. I began in 2013 with 8 days of writing. I did a little more on one day in 2014. And this year I have worked steadily since early March.
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My daily writing goal was 2000 words, as Stephen King recommends in his book On Writing (Scribner, 2000). I was quite variable in the number of words written each day. Early in the writing, in 2013, I had three very productive days when I wrote more than 3000 words.
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A graph of the cumulative number of words shows I was steady in my progress. Now, with editing, the total number of words should stay steady, or decrease.
If I compare this to my progress during the writing of ‘Open to the Skies’ (‘Saving the Landing Church’), my progress was similar. You can see below where I began editing, at about 25 days. For this book, it took 27 days to reach this point.
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Keeping track of the number of words I write has three purposes:
- the daily number of words is a tangible record of progress and for me, a reward at the end of the writing day.
- the cumulative number of words shows me how long the book is getting; may aim is for less than 90,000 words, usual for books of the type I am writing.
- I report the number of words I have written to my husband, keeping him ‘involved’ and making him extra joyous as the day comes when I will read my book to him.
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For your writing, do you have an aim for your daily number of words?
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Copyright 2015 Jane Tims
writing a novel – pulling out the weeds
I have completed Draft Three of my novel ‘Crossing at a Walk’. The entire story is there. If I add more ‘story’ now, I will only confuse my plot and my readers. Next I have to concentrate on honing every sentence, including dealing with the oddities I allow to creep into my writing. As if I am growing a garden, I have to find and pull out the weeds.
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I think these are different for every writer and writers have to learn these for themselves. For me, the culprits are:
writing in the passive voice.
using the word ‘that’. I never use ‘which’.
using adverbs, although I (quickly) drilled this one out of my system.
repeating the same word in adjacent lines or adjacent paragraphs.
using phrases like ‘she stood and … ‘, ‘I opened the door and …’ , ‘I looked at her and …’ – I sometimes tend to breathe for my characters!
using colorless words like ‘felt’, ‘drove’, ‘went’, ‘wondered’, ‘just’ and so on.
putting two spaces after every period – I learned to type on a typewriter!
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I also have to do careful editing with respect to tense and person. I tell Sadie’s story in the third person and past tense. Tom speaks in the first person and present tense. I also have an angler who likes to fish just below the covered bridge and always speaks in the second person (something new I am trying).
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my husband when he was a boy, fishing on the North Branch of the Rusagonis River, under the covered bridge … this covered bridge is now gone from our community
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My husband is not looking forward to the completion of Draft Four. It ends with me reading him the entire novel, chapter by chapter, every evening, an hour before ‘Coronation Street’ on TV. Until we finish. Poor fellow.
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Copyright 2015 Jane Tims
writing a novel – getting to know your characters
The Whisper Wind Writers’ Retreat – the setting for my novel
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Working on the drafts of a novel is like combing hair. You start at the top/beginning and comb through the words and sentences, paragraphs and chapters, over and over. Eventually the tangles comb out and the hair becomes smooth and shiny.
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I find the best way to do the ‘combing’ is to work at specific components of the story. Developing symbols within the story is one. Developing characters in the story is another.
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I have a lot of characters in my books. In ‘Open to the Skies’ there are 44 characters, major, minor and dead. This is probably too many, but it is a book about a community.
So far, in ‘Crossing at a Walk’, I have 33 characters. These include Sadie and Tom, members of the community, and the six ‘retreaters’ (the writers enjoying a weekend at the Writers’ Retreat).
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A difficulty with writing a sequel, I feel responsible for all these characters. Leaving one of them out of book #2 seems wrong to me. But by book # 25 (!) I’ll have a whole planet to contend with. So I have to make choices.
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Each of my characters has a character sketch, a background story and a story arc. As I’ve said before, I try to include three ‘bumps’ in each story line.
One of the ‘combings’ I do is to look at each character as he or she appears in the book. I want to make sure the character is consistent with respect to appearance, back story, way of speaking, relationships, and so on.
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1. Character sketch and background
As an example, let me introduce you to Ruby Milton. She is the fourth character from the left in the sketches above. She is a minor character, a constant companion to one of the major characters. Ruby is 64 and married (she was a Brunelle before she was married). She is a retired librarian and now runs a U-Pick with her husband Lars. Ruby, as a result of her name, loves all things red. She wears red and she bids on a lamp at an auction because it has a red glass finial. A quilter, she works a red patch into every quilt she makes. She was also one of the characters who opposed the sale and relocation of the Landing Church in ‘Open to the Skies’. Ruby snubs Sadie at every opportunity.
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Ruby would love my lamp with the red finial – it once belonged to my mother-in-law Mary
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It’s hard to have to keep checking on a character sketch as I write, so I prepare a chart of my characters. I keep the chart file open so I can check on it as often as I want.
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| Name | Occupation | Characteristics | Age | Vocabulary |
| Ruby Milton | Librarian; runs a U-Pick | Wears red; thin; a quilter; maiden name Brunelle; lived in community all her life | 62 | Cemetery; uses lots of contractions |
| Lars Milton | Retired Teacher; runs a U-Pick | Tall; Full head of snowy hair | 65 | Graveyard |
| Marjory Alworth | Shop owner | Nicknamed Margie; Ruby Milton’s daughter | 41 | |
| Betsy Alworth | Waitress | Ruby Milton’s grand-daughter | 24 |
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2. Story arc
Ruby occurs three times in ‘Crossing at a Walk’. She occurs because she is a friend to Pat, a major character; she runs a local U-Pick and food from the U-Pick is used at the Retreat; she represents the community’s continued interest in its landmarks. She wants to continue to use the Landing Church for her quilting group and she participates in celebrations of the history of the covered bridge. Ruby also represents the part of the community that Sadie hasn’t quite won over in her efforts to fit in.
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As I read my draft so far, I realise Ruby needs to change in some small way during the book. So, in keeping with her importance as a representative of community, I add some elements to Ruby’s story. At the auction, she won’t even acknowledge Sadie. But during the book, Sadie allows Ruby’s quilters to use the church and treats Ruby as knowledgeable about community history. By the end of the book, Ruby greets Sadie as a friend and contributes a story about her memories of the covered bridge.
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inside a covered bridge
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I keep a table of story arcs for each of my characters, to help me build the story, be consistent and make sure that I find the story for each character.
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| Name | First occurrence | Second occurrence | Third occurrence | Story |
| Ruby Milton | Ignores Sadie at auction (page 35) | Asks to use hall for quilting group (page 146) | Greets Sadie as a friend at a community gathering; tells a story about bridge (page 232) | Pat’s friend; represents community; changes her attitude about Sadie |
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Ruby is a relatively minor character in the book. However, I treat her with the same respect I give my major characters. And she gives back to me. She suggests turnings for the story. And she helps make the community I have created for these characters more realistic.
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Ruby puts a bit of red in every quilt she makes
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Copyright 2015 Jane Tims
writing a novel – searching out the symbols
When I wrote ‘Open to the Skies’, I used various ways to examine and tighten the plot. One of these was to list the various objects in the book and consider them as symbols.
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For my book ‘Crossing at a Walk’, I will use this process to help my eventual readers understand the progress of the story.
Mentioned once, an object, such as a candle, is just a candle. Mentioned twice, it becomes a symbol, and the reader remembers the first mention of the object and draws understanding from the symbolism. So a candle may be remembered for its light. If, in a subsequent mention, someone blows out the candle, this may make a comment on the idea of communication. Passing a candle from person to person suggests the passing of stories between people. The use of symbols deepens meanings and helps the plot reverberate throughout the writing.
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Symbols operate like mini sub-plots throughout the story. These mini-plots echo the main plot, and the objects change in a way that illuminates the main plot. The mini-plots also tend to occur in three ‘beats’, providing a beginning, middle and end. For example, an unlit candle becomes a useful source of light and is passed between people at a wake.
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In this round of edits, I have tried to examine the use of symbols in my novel. To do this, I built a list of the objects I have used as symbols. Then I looked for their occurrence in the novel to see if I could identify three ‘beats’ and a mini sub-plot. In some cases, I identified gaps – fixing these has helped me to solidify my overall plot.
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This is a short version of my list of some of the objects/symbols in my book. When I assembled the list, the items in red were missing and I had to fill out the story accordingly. Perhaps you can use this method to help strengthen the narrative in your own fiction.
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| Object | Symbol | Occurrence (page numbers) | Mini-plot | ||
| coyote | fear | 87 | 104 | 120 | coyotes howl in woods; they rattle some of the retreaters; Sadie considers it a failing of the retreat |
| church tower | refuge | 15 | 104 | 181 | tower is off-limits to retreaters; becomes a place to sleep in safety; a place to write a poem |
| paper maché ball and chain | servitude | 39 | 58 | 180 | Sadie is asked to provide a community service placement for Minnie, a trouble-maker; Minnie stores the ball and chain, a theatrical prop, on a library shelf during her stay; when the time is up, she destroys the ball and chain |
| rain | a barrier | 6 | 133 | 186 | rain interferes with the retreat at every turn and ends up being the source of the flood that threatens the covered bridge |
| scale model of a covered bridge | remembering | 35 | 132 | 150 | a scale model of the covered bridge is purchased at an auction; helps tell the story of a character in the novel; could become the only memento of the bridge |
| burning candles | passing stories from person to person | 58 | 140 | 188 | candles are not allowed in the old church but later become a practical source of light during a storm and a way of passing stories about the covered bridge from person to person |
| loon | communication | 21 | 169 | 182 | loon calls at retreat encourage people to talk to one another |
| stars, shooting stars | hope | 12 | 109 | 185 | stars become inspiration for an artist, encouragement for a love-interest, and an inspirational setting for a wake |
Copyright 2015 Jane Tims
writing a novel – expressing the story in a single sentence
Title: unknown
Working Title: ‘Crossing at a Walk’
Setting: a writers’ retreat – the renovated Landing Church, the hall and the rectory now used as a Learning Center, a Sleeping Hall and a home and base of operations for Sadie and Tom
Characters: main character Sadie, a writer; her husband Tom, a retired welder; Alexandra, a young woman who works at the retreat; other people from the community; writers participating in the first weekend of the writers’ retreat
Plot: The ongoing history of an old covered bridge keeps getting in the way of discovering the story of a woman who once lived in the community.
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one of the 59 covered bridges remaining in New Brunswick
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When I think about the story I want to tell in my book, I quickly get in a tangle of characters and subplots and action. All of this can be quite confusing to the writer and end up befuddling the story and taking the writing in the wrong direction.
To avoid this tangle, it is a good idea to try to express the plot and story in single sentences as soon as possible in the writing process.
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The plot is the cause-and-effect relationship between events in a story.
A story is a series of events, related in their chronological order.
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I am currently taking a course from Deborah Carr, an excellent writing coach (her website ‘Nature of Words’ is at http://www.natureofwords.com/). She puts it this way: a story follows the pattern of Desire, Struggle, and Resolution. Every good story is about someone who wants something, how the someone sets about achieving the goal, and the consequences of achieving the goal.
The earlier in the process I can write my story in a single sentence that includes these three elements, the less ‘wheel-spinning’ I will do.
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My novel will be the story of how a young staff member at a writers’ retreat discovers the name of a woman carved on the beams of a covered bridge, sets out to discover the woman’s story by asking questions and learning the history of the bridge, and reveals truths about love and loss.
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names and initials are often carved on the wood beams within a covered bridge
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The story is different from the plot in that it expresses a series of actions in time. A plot expresses the logical relationship between elements of the story. The story and plot complement one another.
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Before you get much further in your novel, try writing the story as a simple sentence describing Desire, Struggle, and Resolution.
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Copyright 2015 Jane Tims
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