settling into unfamiliar
After three decades of work, I am retiring within the year. Another milestone. A new ‘way’ to settle into.
I remember when I made the transition into full-time employment. It was a huge change for me.
Previously, I had been a student, living at home. Suddenly, I was away from familiar places, in a new province, on my own.
Fortunately, I had solid back-up… my Mom and Dad were supportive and helped me whenever they could. I loved my apartment, my new friends, my responsibilities. Everything was new. I learned as I went, meeting each new experience as if it was a page being turned in a book.
This transition, my retirement, will be so different. I should be ahead of the change. I am settled. I know my home. I have my husband to steady me and my son to give me advice! I have a plan.
But the transition is still scary. For three decades, my work has structured my life, providing deadlines and places to be, people to see. I’ll have to establish a new daily routine. I’ll have to set goals and celebrate milestones. I’ll have to work a little harder to maintain my social contacts.
It will be like my first walks in the grey woods. In those days, I didn’t know the paths very well and worried about getting lost (even though I could hear the cars on the main road!). Sounds were strange, even frightening. I worried about wild animals.
But gradually I learned the ways of the grey woods. Every time I walked the paths, they became more familiar, and also more worn and easier to follow. I learned the sounds to expect and the animals and birds I would encounter. I learned the pitfalls. I learned to expect a gem on every walk… a fairy ring of mushrooms, a Pileated Woodpecker hammering at a tree trunk, a chorus of frogs from the ephemeral pools…
walk in the grey forest
~
I walk on unknown land
land I have not seen
but dreamed, the wary dream of intruder
where silence is fragile
snapped in two
by leaf fall
~
I step carefully
my disturbance less
than the exhalation of wind
or the mutter of moths
between moribund trees
~
this is ancient land
mossy logs, weary paths
where others may have walked
slanted cathedral light
lichened stones
~
the unknown watches me
crouched in a hollow
flattened to the bole of the oak
betrayed by a ripple on the vernal pool
by the rattle of beech leaf or birch bark paper
it will surely shake free of its leaf garment
rise from the forest floor
to chastise me
desecrator of place
~
even a careful step
is hard on hollow land
~
it will take time
to learn to walk here
to discover game trails in the half-light
to understand words unspoken
to know the dying trees
not as omen
but as part
of the forest
~
© Jane Tims 1998
Ohhhhh… The fairy ring of mushrooms is enchanting! Transitions can be scary, but as you point out, there are always new gems to discover along the new path, and I wish you an abundance of them in the days ahead!
LikeLike
Barbara Rodgers
October 4, 2011 at 2:48 pm
Hi Barbara. Thanks for your good wishes!! Jane
LikeLike
jane tims
October 4, 2011 at 10:05 pm
Beautiful poem to go with a lovely post.
I retired early and feel so fortunate that I was able do so. There were times when I felt a little lost, but mostly the transition has been smooth and delightful. I’m discovering so many new things about life, where I live, and about myself now that I have the time to explore.
LikeLike
Robin
October 1, 2011 at 7:09 pm
Time, that will be the best gift of all! Jane
LikeLike
jane tims
October 2, 2011 at 9:22 am
Excellent poem Jane.
-Denis
LikeLike
JD
October 1, 2011 at 7:53 am
Great post today. I really enjoyed reading it very much. You have an excellent blog here. Thanks again for sharing.
Take a look at – The Leaves are Changing
LikeLike
Family Living
September 29, 2011 at 1:21 pm